I could write a Valentine’s Day post. I won’t, I don’t really care for Valentine’s Day.
I probably sound like a bitter, single person. And I am, but that’s not why I don’t like Valentine’s Day. I honestly can’t think of anything I’d prefer to be doing this evening over watching bad reality TV in my pyjamas.
Lifestyle You. Dance Moms. YES.
I could write about consumerism and commercialising love and Hallmark inventions, but that would be almost as clichéd as the day itself.
Instead I choose to celebrate love by sharing my sister’s short-lived, Valentine’s Day, text message relationship with you.
7.28am – MITCH: Hey you
9.20am – MITCH: Wat ya doing [sic]
10.18am – ELLA: Hi there, who is this?
10.28am – MITCH: Mitch who this
10.41am – MITCH: ????
11.01am – Mitch: Who this
11.28am – ELLA: Hi Mitch, someone must have given you a fake number which happens to be mine. People are cruel. Anyway some friendly advice: if a girl happens to give you a real number next time don’t message her at 7.30 it’s rude. Have a good day.
11.29am – MITCH: Sorry who is this by the way???
11.35am – ELLA: I’m Ella. And I don’t know a Mitch, sorry dude.
11.36am – MITCH: Where you live Ella???
11.44am – ELLA: In my house. That’s a pretty personal question there, Mitch. My second piece of advice is not to ask random girls where they live. Thanks.
11.51am – MITCH: Well how r you than???
11.57am – ELLA: That’s much better, now try it on someone that isn’t me. Then go forth young Jedi…just don’t use the force on women, ta.
11.58pm – MITCH: WTF your fuking queer
Is Mitch a keeper? I hope they get married.