My promising future

It’s been a couple of years since I’ve had a length of time off so I’ve been looking at my long neglected blog. I found a drafted but unpublished post and I figured revisiting it might get the ball rolling.

Last year I contemplated my future in this shrinking field of career opportunities. It’s something I’ve been scrutinising even more over the past year. Friend/travel buddy/fake sister Sian assured me I had other skills and gave me the following list of potential CV fillers.

  • Excellent at researching places and things to do

  • Mapping public transport, mapping in general

  • Being nice to old people on public transport

  • Baking different things

  • Remembering plots of books and movies

  • Eating food

  • Making playlists

  • Not falling over in mosh pits considering you are quite small

  • Picking out cute outfits

  • Writing witty blog entries

  • Sleeping on the top bunk

If anyone knows how these could be combined into a prospective career please let me know.

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Bad blogger

It’s been almost a year since my last blog. I’m going to try and start this again. Any suggestions for a post? I can pretend to be an expert on most things.

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A foray into sports journalism

It was a fantastic opportunity to experience a different culture and wear my new cape.

That’s how I arrived at my decision to go along to a football game. I’d never seen a professional sporting event before and I had poor to moderate expectations.

NRL is a sport where large men run around on a field and push each other to the ground while trying to get a ball over a line and through some poles. It’s pretty weird.

The Canberra team are raiders which are kind of like vikings and the St George team are dragons. I prefer vikings and dragons out of a sporting context. I assumed they were natural enemies because I had seen that DreamWorks film How to Train Your Dragon. I also know vikings and dragons have it in them to put their differences aside and peacefully coexist to a heartwarming effect.

There were some decent moments: a stranger letting me in for free was a nice way to start the evening and welcome me to this world of sporting fanaticism, I learned some of the rules of the game and I was home in time to watch Q&A.

But I would like to provide some constructive criticism to sports enthusiasts and venues:

  1. Get a roof.
  2. And a larger variety of vegetarian options.
  3. And some cider. Where will I get my fruit/veg intake from if I don’t have a veggie burger or a nutritious, apple-filled Magners?
  4. I think you should indulge the arts during your halftime show. A band or some interpretive dance would work nicely.
  5. Provide a winter uniform for your cheerleaders. Beanies and scarves are adorable.
What troubled me the most was the booing. I just don’t understand it, these football players are here to entertain you with their violent beefiness. Where would you be if they weren’t here? Raiders can’t play themselves.
I had a decent evening, I would attribute that more towards vodka and socialising rather than the game itself, but I could have done that in a pub where they have a roof. 
Overall I give sport one and a half stars.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I love love

could write a Valentine’s Day post. I won’t, I don’t really care for Valentine’s Day.

I probably sound like a bitter, single person. And I am, but that’s not why I don’t like Valentine’s Day. I honestly can’t think of anything I’d prefer to be doing this evening over watching bad reality TV in my pyjamas.

Lifestyle You. Dance Moms. YES.

I could write about consumerism and commercialising love and Hallmark inventions, but that would be almost as clichéd as the day itself.

Instead I choose to celebrate love by sharing my sister’s short-lived, Valentine’s Day, text message relationship with you.

7.28am – MITCH: Hey you

9.20am – MITCH: Wat ya doing [sic]

10.18am – ELLA: Hi there, who is this?

10.28am – MITCH: Mitch who this

10.41am – MITCH: ????

11.01am – Mitch: Who this

11.28am – ELLA: Hi Mitch, someone must have given you a fake number which happens to be mine. People are cruel. Anyway some friendly advice: if a girl happens to give you a real number next time don’t message her at 7.30 it’s rude. Have a good day.

11.29am – MITCH: Sorry who is this by the way???

11.35am – ELLA: I’m Ella. And I don’t know a Mitch, sorry dude.

11.36am – MITCH: Where you live Ella???

11.44am – ELLA: In my house. That’s a pretty personal question there, Mitch. My second piece of advice is not to ask random girls where they live. Thanks.

11.51am – MITCH: Well how r you than???

11.57am – ELLA: That’s much better, now try it on someone that isn’t me. Then go forth young Jedi…just don’t use the force on women, ta.

11.58pm – MITCH: WTF your fuking queer

Is Mitch a keeper? I hope they get married.

 

 

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Christmas movies

Here are a few highlights from my Christmas movie marathon of the past week:

LOVE ACTUALLY

I typically watch this every year. I’ve seen a few American knock offs of this. The “cram several stories into a romantic comedy” formula, preferably set around some kind of holiday has been repeated too many times and it has never lived up to this British original. They’re not as clever or funny and the way the stories are linked just feels so forced. Love Actually never did. Each time I watch it there is something new that I’ve forgotten about that has me in hysterics, yesterday it was this kid in the nativity play.

ELF

Just watched this one tonight and remembered how much I love it. I think I’m going to make paper snowflakes next year.  I love the part where Buddy buys his dad lingerie, I also love this bit.

MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL

One of my longest running traditions is to watch this movie every Christmas Eve. I know the lyrics to all the songs. When I grew up and read Charles Dickens’ book I had a hard time reading it without imagining Muppets, Bob Cratchit kept forming in my head as Kermit. If you haven’t read the original, there’s no excuse. It’s a short, beautiful read and available for free here.

Needless to say, I can’t wait for the new Muppet movie.

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Dreaming of a white Christmas

I know. I’m totally dreaming.

I’ve experienced one British Christmas. It didn’t snow on the day, but I was able to spend the season waking to this picturesque scene on a couple of occasions.

It’s strange that we have grown accustomed to hearing Let It Snow being played in shopping centres while it’s 30 degrees outside.

I know it won’t happen until I celebrate another Christmas in the Northern Hemisphere, but I want a chance to wear one of these saucy numbers.

 

From buyuglysweaters.com

From failuremag.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ralph Lauren holiday sweater

etsy.com

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I wish it was Christmas today

I’m all done with my degree and it’s definitely weird. I’m in those strange few weeks that would normally be a uni break. But this time they’re those few weeks between the end of my studies and employment.

If Dustin Hoffman has taught me anything it’s that I should be having an illicit affair with someone married and in their forties while Simon and Garfunkel melodies whirl around my head, instead I’ve been all about Christmas.

Whether it’s baking, decorating, gift wrapping, painting my nails to look like candy canes, cheesy songs and even cheesier movies. I love everything about Christmas. I even come close to tolerating Mariah Carey at Christmas time (I know!), I blame the little kid from Love Actually.

Christmas is one of my skills, I should put it on my resume. A couple of years ago, a friend and I even invented a Christmas cocktail (okay, we stuck candy canes in Passion Pop and called it a ‘Christmas Ho’), I’d make a fantastic elf.

Over the next few days, I’d like to share some of my favourite Christmas songs and movies because I can’t bake virtual cookies, but I can embed music videos.

Here’s I Wish It Was Christmas Today. It originally appeared on Saturday Night Live in 2000. This version was recorded last year. It has Jimmy Fallon. It has fake snow. It has Julian Casablancas. Could you ask for more?

 

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